Bits of Cho and the Basket of Fruits
by xAkitox
Summary: Random story for Brittany. Inside jokes. Enjoy.


**Bits of Cho and a Basket of Fruits!**

**By Dunununun Akitoman! **

"Nn..." The girl opened her sparkling blue eyes to the bright sun in her face. Today was the day! She and her two best friends- Hana and Uo would be spending the whole day with her in the park! She flung herself out of bed and grabbed her clothes, only glancing for a second to check the time. 6:30 am. She would still have to make breakfast for Yuki, Kyou, and Shigure, but that wouldn't take too long, and she'd be out of the door by eight.

Slipping on a skirt and a blouse, Tohru exited her room and rushed down the stairs, hopping on one foot as she put on her socks.

"What the hell are you doing?" She froze. Kyou stood at the bottom of the stairs, a rice ball in his hand.

"Oh, w-well I'm meeting Hana and Uo down at the park at 8:30 so I need to make--

"There's no need for you to be cookin'. I already made breakfast. I know it ain't the greatest but..."

"Oh, you made breakfast! But it's so early... you really didn't have to do that!"

"Well I was tired of waitin' for ya!" He growled and looked away.

"O-Oh... I'm so sorry..."

"Just go and eat somethin'."

As she approached the kitchen, a sick feeling hit her stomach. She paused, her eyes widening. She felt as if something was watching her... She turned around.

"Kyou?" It appeared that he had went outside. "Shigure, Yuki?" She looked around, but no one was there. What if a robber had sneaked in! It was probably just her imagination, but she truly felt that someone was there... She slowly turned around to face the kitchen table, when-

"BUZZAH!"

"AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Sango stuck her tongue out.

"Scared ya!" Tohru gasped for breath, her hand on her chest.

"Yes... you did..."

"Did anyone tell you about what happened?" Tohru's eyes widened.

"What do you mean? What happened?!" Sango sighed.

"Well my dearest, only the worst." Shigure had popped in behind Tohru.

"Eyuh!" She looked at the two. "What happened?!"

"Should we tell her?"

"HIYAAA!" Milkvamp crashed through the ceiling as an Emilie Autumn song started playing.

"MV! HOW'S MY BITCH?!" Sango and MV "ghetto-hugged".

"She's just fine, homie!" MV said, trying to be gangster. They both gave chibi faces and Kyou sweatdropped, entering the room.

"What the hell?"

"KYOU MY LOVE!" Everyone looked at Kagura.

"Chii..." Chii said. Shigure sighed. Akito popped in wearing a swimsuit.

"I'm 30 percent taco!" she screamed, as she jumped up, eating jello. BOOM! Ashara fell.

"AKIII-CHAANNN!!!!" Shigure screamed like a fan girl, suddenly realising his wife was in the room.

"NEVER EAT THE BRAN MUFFINS!" Sango yelled. Haru was licking the eggnog off the walls as Tohru fainted onto Yuki's slipper.

"Oh noes!" Brittany screamed as Sienna got her foot stuck in the ceiling fan.

"MY SPOON IS TOO BIG!" Akito yelled, trying to eat cereal with a fork.

"That's a knife," Shigure told her knowingly.

"Oh okay."

"One time I got infected with rabies!" Haru said. "That time I went snow-shoeing with Yun-chan."

"I THINK I LOVE YOU SHIGURE!" Akito yelled.

"I THINK I LOVE ME TOO!"

"Where is a banana when ya need one?" Kagura asked. Kaoru and Makoto ran into the room and gave Akito a wine bottle filled with chocolate chips.

"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!" They said. Akito blinked.

"Who are those kids?"

"OURS!" Kureno said.

"NO, OURS!" Shigure yelled.

"I'M SORRY BUT THEY DONT BELONG TO KURENO AND SHIGURE. They belong to Ritsu's mom."

"But Ritsu's mom is--  
"UWAAAHHHHH!! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY THAT THE CHILDREN ARE MINE AND THAT I'M SUCH A BURDEN TO ALL OF YOU PEOPLE! OHHHH FORGIVE ME, GOD, FOR ALL THAT I'VE DONE TO THIS POOR, FAMILY!"  
"EYAH!!! IM SORRY JESUS FOR RUINING THIS BEAUTIFUL FAMILY WITH MY PRESCENCE, AND THAT MY MOTHER AND I ARE BOTH BURDENS!"

"Mesho, Ritsu, chill." Haru told them, because he was a flower child.

"I wanna be a hippie next!" Momiji told his mom.

"No sweetie, because I forgot you years ago," the woman told him back.

"I'm a hippo!" Kyou yelled as he made out with Yuki.

"YAOI!" Sango said taking out her camera.

"WE SHOULD HAVE AN ORGY!"

"WE SHOULD HAVE A PARADE!"

"WE SHOULD HAVE A BABY!"

"No, we're going to all become Trekkies and have little Vulcan ears with ponytails and buck teeth, and we'll live off of key lime pie and the word Canadian."

"...Wow Akito knows EVERYTHING!"

"Not everything. She doesn't know how to play poker."

"YES I DO AND I ALWAYS WIN!"

"...LET'S MAKE OUT!"

"... OKAY!" Then Kagura died and the angels threw rocks at InuYasha.

"Chii?" Chii asked, feeding waffle mush to Hideki.

"Shut up, Spalding!" Akito yelled to the voices. But the voices were real estate agents.

"Velkomen hjome, Ralph!" Jakken said to his invisible dog. But the dog wasn't Danish, he was Polish.

"I WANT JOO!" Akito said, reaching for her mommy. Ren screamed.

"I WANT JOO, TOO!" Then they started making out. Shigure took a picture.

"HILLBILLY LESBIANS!" he screamed like a fangirl.

"ECCHI!" Kureno screamed, hugging Shigure. Then Shigure gasped because he had a corn dog stuck in his toe.

"I gotta go potty!" Haru screamed, doin' the potty dance.

"TOO BAD, I JUST NEED TO TEND TO MY PIGS AND MY GARDEN!" Mumble the penguin said. Then Akito was pregnant with Ren's baby.

"How did that even happen?" Momiji asked.

"WELL IT STARTED OUT WHEN REN AND I TOOK OFF OUR CL--

"You'll learn when you're older." Hatori said.

"But I love you!" Yuki told Kyou.

"I'm sorry but I can't be GAY, Tightpants!" Kyou said, referring to Yuki's very tight pants.

"...BUT I LOVE YOU!" BOOM! Kagura died again. JELLO! BOOM! Ashara fell. CHEAP SFX! Cheap s3x AH HA HA!

"No, you can't eat my hot dogs!" Hiro screamed at Kisa. But Kisa really wanted those hot dogs.

"...TAMPONS!" Akito yelled.

"ZOMG!" Haru yelled. Because he was still a flower child.

"Why... WHY MUST WE GO ON LIKE THIS!" Brittany screamed, tossing the paper she had been writing down into the garbage can.

"Oh Britt," Sienna said, patting her on the shoulder. "It's okay."

"No it isn't! This story started out so normal!" she cried, hugging her friend.

"But we're just weird. All of our stories MUST be weird SOMETIME or another." Brittany thought about that for a moment.

"I guess you're right..."

"...Wanna go join the army?"

"YEAH!" And the two girls ran out the door and onto the street, where they both got hit by cars.

THE END OF AN AMAZING STORY WRITTEN BY YOURS TRULY, AKII-CHAN, AKA SIENNA!

I wrote this story for Brittany. It has tons of inside jokes. TONS. Probably all of you reading this right now won't have a clue what's going on. Yep. Well, bai bai. Spread the love.


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